Fortunately, Unfortunately...

[Josiah]

Unfortunately, with no Ni WI-fi you're pretty bored.

[grassaquilUV]

Fortunately your media player has data connectivity, so you are ok and not bored.

[Pikachu127]

Unfortunately, a T-Rex corpse falls towards you, with the triumphant roar of a Spinosaur accompanying it....

[Josiah]

Fortunately, they're fakes used in a movie that's filming nearby.

[Pikachu127]

Most unfortunately, a very much real pack of genetically engineered velociraptors is hurtling towards you, their eyes full of the promise of shredded you for a meal.

[Blivsey]

Fortunately, they trip over the fake.

[Josiah]

Unfortunately, the movie's director blames you for messing up his scene.

[Blivsey]

Fortunately, you have excellent scapegoats in the velociraptors.

[Pikachu127]

Unfortunately, the velociraptors are back, and more vicious than ever (also remembering to avoid the fake).

((Gee, why don't I like my statements corrupted? D:))

[Doodleshark]

((That's how the game is played, mate.))

Fortunately, you help the velociraptors get acquainted with the wonders of the modern world by shooting them repeatedly with an automatic rifle.

[Pikachu127]

((I know, I know... But something... Er, doesn't matter.))

Unfortunately, even that doesn't bring them down.

((Can someone really just get rid of them permanently, preferably via nukes/poison, next post?))

[Blivsey]

Fortunately, it certainly slows them down.

[Pikachu127]

Unfortunately, they have gotten over it and... Well, they're about 2 inches from you now, snarling, licking their lips, just as one raises an arm to disembowel you...

[Josiah]

Fortunately, being real raptors they're only above the size of a chicken and you promptly kick the stuffing out of them and lock them in a cage.

[grassaquilUV]

Unfortunately, The cage is made of paper and they escape.