If I Were...Then I...

[PoisonWing14]

Then I would hope there was enough oxygen, food, and water to keep myself alive untill someone came to save me.


If I were to drop my cupcake....

[Saber Knight]

Then I would quickly pick it up, citing the 5 second rule.

If I were to run out of cookies...

[Siranae]

I would ask for some more. But everyone knows if you give a Sira a cookie, she's going to ask for a glass of milk.
When you give her the milk, she’ll probably ask you for a straw.
When she’s finished, she’ll ask for a napkin.
Then she will want to look in a mirror to make sure she doesn’t have a milk mustache.
When she looks into the mirror, she might notice her hair needs a trim. So she will probably ask for a pair of scissors.
When she’s finished giving herself a trim, she’ll want a broom to sweep up. She’ll start sweeping. She might get carried away and sweep every room in the house. She may even end up washing the floors as well!
When she’s done, she’ll probably want to take a nap.
She’ll probably ask you to read her a story. So you’ll read her one from one of your books, and she’ll ask to see the pictures. When she looks at the pictures, she’ll get so excited she’ll want to draw one of her own. She’ll ask for paper and pencil.
She’ll draw a picture. When the picture is finished, she’ll want to sign her name with a pen.
When she goes into the kitchen to get a pen, she'll notice her laptop on the countertop. She'll want to check the Pebble Version Forums.
When she checks the forums, she'll find a question asking what she'd do if she ran out of cookies. She'll realize she's thirsty.
You'll wonder how she came to that conclusion, but she will just assure you this will make the story end better. And chances are, if you give a Sira a glass of milk, she'll want a cookie to go with it.

If I were to recite every Laura Joffe Numeroff book in this post...

[Saber Knight]

Then I would be hopelessly lost.

If I were to have every song ever on my iPod...

[Puyon]

Creating a Playlist would be a nightmare.

If I were the worlds greatest social reject...

[Saber Knight]

Then all of the other social rejects would bow down in respect... and then all leave before they were caught associating with you.

If I were to never leave home...

[PoisonWing14]

Then I'd get a major case of cabin-fever.


If I were to be the most mysterious person on earth...

[Saber Knight]

Then I would forever be an enigma.

If I were on fire...

[Josiah]

I'd be running for the shower.

If I were 82 years old...

[Saber Knight]

Then I would scream at kids to get off my lawn.

If I were to skip school...

[Neo Zanther]

noone would really notice, if it was a Friday.


If I would to shake a can of pop...

[Saber Knight]

Then I would find exploded soda in my face.

If I were to go to Hogwarts...

[Neo Zanther]

you could do great things.


If I were to fly a kite...

[Metalheadz]

Then I'd do it till sundown.

If I were a meatball...

[Silver]

I would be sure to roll off the table and on to the floor.

If I were made of jelly...