Metalheadz's PVF Help Center

[Metalheadz]

Good question.

Well, as hard as it looks, BFC, making friends is actually very simple. Seeing that you've moved a lot over the past year, what you should do is be yourself. Look around you at all the people you see. Can you relate with any of them? For example, suppose you like Pokemon, and you find someone else in your school who likes Pokemon. What I would do is when that person begins discussing Pokemon-related, you could get into the conversation a little bit. Eventually, he will be impressed with your interest in Pokemon, and he would want you to hang near him more. It's all patience, basically. The first three days after moving are justifiable, but it's best to begin looking for good people to start with. If you begin to make one friend in your new school or community, eventually that friend would want you to hang out with his friends, and become friends with them, and so on.

Don't try too hard to impress the people around you, BFC. Friends will come at you very easily if you continue to be a good person and be yourself. Even if rejection comes, we all face it so the best thing to do is to move on. Also, don't worry too much of being rejected, it will lower your self-esteem and make you less likely into a better friend. I had the same problem back in my freshman year. But after trying these new techniques, I seemed to be a better friend and more optimistic Sophomore year than I have last year.

Good luck. :)

[Kaida]

Kaida's engaged? Congrats! *Glomps her*.

Um thanks? I've been engaged for over a year now, thought everyone knew already...

But just to add onto Metals answer, instead of just waiting for someone to bring up something that you're into you could try either bringing it up or asking people what their into. You'll often find that when you go to somewhere knew (be it school, job, town, etc) people there will often try getting to know you by asking you questions (eg, where are you from, what music do you like, what do you do in your spare time). When they do this try not to be shy, and don't be worried about what they might think of you, you might find out that their into the same things as you. Also ask them back, make it into a two-way conversation. One thing you'll notice about people (some more so then others) most love talking about themselves, their life, what their into, even if they don't notice it.

hmmm this is becoming a habit, sorry metal, I'll go hide in another thread now...

[PoikSpirit]

Being shy myself, I know it can be hard to make friends sometimes. Then again, it's really easy to say "I'm new here, can I sit with you guys," at lunch and listen into a conversation until you can join in. That isn't an uncommon occurrence (unless your school is a lot different from mine) and they probably won't mind at all. Once you make friends, hang out with them and meet some of their other friends, and it just escalates from there in my experience. Sometimes that doesn't work on the first try, but it doesn't have to, if you feel uncomfortable with the group, you can excuse yourself and leave. They'll probably just think, "Oh, we scared off the new kid," and move on.

[Metalheadz]

Yeah.

Rejection comes and goes. We shouldn't worry too much about friends we don't have, but instead look at the friends we already have.

[Silver]

Ah, I remember going into high school knowing only one person. She had a few friends, so I tried to get in with them, since I already had a connection... yeah it didn't work. I ended up not liking any of them... except for one, who didn't hang out with the rest of them so much. So within about three days I stopped talking to the others and clung to the one that was cool, which lead to her friends, which lead to the anime club (which, ironically, she wasn't even part of), which lead to Colly. So yeah, friend jumping. Talk to everyone, stick with the people you like talking to. And I know it sounds generic, but clubs can help. You get attention just by being a new person that shows up. The people think, "New person sharing my interests? Must... understand... the deeper meaning..." You don't have to stick with any clubs, but they are a good way to get noticed.

[Metalheadz]

School clubs are the first step. But BFC could go further than that, too. There are plenty of clubs outside of school, and if there's a pool nearby, there bound to be plenty of folks there you can socialize with. Age group doesn't matter, either. You could even befriend a 5-year old who likes anime and video games just like you do. It's how I met my 7-year old friend, who's really into playing Halo and other video games I like. So yeah... It's really easy to make friends, whether it looks hard or not, friends will come at you easily.

[Metalheadz]

(Sorry about the double post but I needed to notify BFC on everybody's and my answer.)

Are you satisfied, BFC? Is what I and everyone else said good enough for you?

[Blue Fire Cyndaquil]

Yeah. Thanks, everyone.

Edit: Oh, BTW, homeschooled, remember?

[Cheezdude]

Yeah, I am terrible at relations in general, I have a few friends but I don't think I started any of the friendships. And of course, there's the girl I've had a crush on for 3 years but have never had the nerve to talk to for fear of rejection. >.>

[Metalheadz]

Hey Cheez, it's normal to have crushes. Even though you don't ask her out for so long, it's nothing to feel too bad about. We all have the fear of rejection, sometime, and there are those times when we reject others, too. If you want to please that girl you have a crush on, why not start by becoming her friend? Of course, relationships aren't very easily made in just one ask out, but if you become friends with that girl she may eventually like you even more and more. Wanna give it a try, Cheez?

[Cheezdude]

Hey Cheez, it's normal to have crushes. Even though you don't ask her out for so long, it's nothing to feel too bad about. We all have the fear of rejection, sometime, and there are those times when we reject others, too. If you want to please that girl you have a crush on, why not start by becoming her friend? Of course, relationships aren't very easily made in just one ask out, but if you become friends with that girl she may eventually like you even more and more. Wanna give it a try, Cheez?

I try to be her friend somewhat, but I suck at conversation. I have so many opportunities and I'm thinking about it constantly this last month... everyday. I really have nothing to lose, but I just have trouble approaching her. I'll make more of an effort to talk to her, I guess. x.x

[*^_^*kako]

If its o-k with Metalhead I would like to give my input about this. Cheezdude what are the reasons why you like her? Maybe if you have classes together you can talk to her about something in class,even if its something simple like what your supposed to do. People like it when people listen and if you listen to her and try to talk to her she may become your friend.

[Cheezdude]

Cheezdude what are the reasons why you like her?

Smart, very nice, and cute. She seems perfect to me.

[Metalheadz]

Have you any mutual friends with this girl, Cheez? They will help a lot when you want to become a person's friend.

[Cheezdude]

Have you any mutual friends with this girl, Cheez? They will help a lot when you want to become a person's friend.

Yeah, a few. I have more friends that are girls than guys. Girls just seem friendlier, the guys in my school for the most part are jerks.