Fortunately, Unfortunately...

[Josiah]

Unfortunately, by now you've really stopped caring about the toothpaste.

[Winters Rage]

(I just had to post about the toothpaste form 300 pages ago, not that I care or anything.)

Fortunately, we don't care very much today so you'll probably get off easy, not that I would want to help you anyways.

[Phonox]

Unfortunately, your Pancreas doesn't care that it's be apathetic day and continues

[Winters Rage]

Fortunately, we have said nothing about your pancreas therefore nothing is wring with it, not that it is all that important to me. e.e /

[Doodleshark]

Unfortunately, that does not change the fact that you are currently soaked in petroleum and standing in the middle of a raging fire.

[Phonox]

(NG, your Pancreas has been personified and is now trying to kill you, hence why it poured petrol on you a few posts back.)

Fortunately, several onlookers see your situation and actually care enough to call the fire dept.

[Winters Rage]

Unfortunately for you the fire goes away when the Fire Fighters come, see no fire then leave at which point the fire then comes back, although it doesn't really interest or matter to me at all.

[Atma]

Fortunately, LAWSON happens to be passing through and offers to extinguish the flames.

[Winters Rage]

Unfortunately he changes his mind and shots himself in the head, killing himself, then his body burns to ashes after being engulfed into the ragging fire; not that it's all that spectacular.

[Phonox]

Fortunately, LAWSON cannot die.

[Winters Rage]

Unfortunately he can in this story because we control it, like I care very much though.

[Phonox]

Fortunately, he still cannot, because LAWSON controls this story, only giving you the illusion of controlling it.

[Winters Rage]

Unfortunately I don't care and your new expensive cat dies in the fire that has already engulfed your house, but I still don't care.

[Atma]

Fortunately, Lawson also offers to save your cat...for a price.

[Phonox]

Unfortunately, that price is your cat's life.